An unfortunate aspect of adulthood

I haven't come to terms with the fact that adulthood means facing/dealing with death and dying. I'm mostly beyond the "wedding phase" (most of my friends are married) and in the thick of "baby shower phase"; somewhere between the two, the funeral phase began quietly. While funerals are always difficult, the ones I attended were more for the survivor (a friend or relative of mine) and not necessarily the deceased (whom I may or may not have known). That all changed tragically last week as we went to the funeral of my oldest first cousin. This is someone of my generation, who has a wife and young kids, and what we all thought was a full life ahead of him. Due to many complicated health reasons, he died on March 1. I did not get to attend my 3 grandparents' funerals as they were all in India. Hence, this was my first one in which our family was front and center in grieving. This was the first one where I stood up to speak about the deceased and on behalf of the family. It was hard. I don't know why I feel the need to blog about this when I haven't wanted to blog in so long. But, something is compelling me to do so. It's another way in which I can think about and remember my cousin. Unfortunately, I know all too well that the "funeral phase" doesn't end with him.