Why I'm done blogging (for a while, anyway)

I have been formulating this post in my head for a few months now, but I just could not make up my mind.  I finally decided this week, and even then, M pointed out other sides of it.  Alas, I am done blogging, and here is why:

Reason #3: 
I don't know who reads this!  I typically share links to blog posts on Facebook, and some posts get more attention than others of course.  But I don't actually know who reads this.  Our parents, I think?  Not even sure if both of our siblings do.  One of my BFFs?  Everyone is so busy, and I don't have much time myself to read blogs, so how can I think others do and will?  I have friends tell me they wish they had time to read it.  Many who do/might read it already know what's going on with us, and don't need the blog to keep them informed.  It's hard to keep going when you don't really know who your audience is or if you even have one.

Reason #2:
I can't keep up with it!  I am me, plus a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, cousin, employee, etc. and I take those roles seriously.  There are soooo many demands on my time.  Add an international move every few years, and I have to prioritize.  When things fall by the wayside, as this blog has done, I still feel the pressure to keep up.  Why do it to myself?  There are so many things that have taken precedence over this blog over the past few months, so why keep up the pretense and pressure to be a blogger?

Reason #1:
I have no way of knowing who will come across this and how they may misconstrue it!  I never talk about work on this blog when in fact that is one of the most fascinating (and different) aspects of my life.  That's what people want to know more about, but I refuse to go there in writing and that too on the web.  For security and privacy reasons, I am only willing to delve so much into my family's happenings.  I do like to write about living abroad, and my perceptions of each place, and I have come to realize my personal thoughts about such matters could potentially be misconstrued and cause problems for both my organization and me.  Let's just say there was a major diplomatic kerfuffle recently, and it brought such possibilities to light in a way that I can't ignore.  I am not one to hide from social media completely, as it is the best way for me to keep up with my family and friends all over the world.  However, I do feel the need to use social media responsibly, and minimize my own presence on it, and I just can't have some ramblings on a blog entry come to haunt me. 

So there, I've said it: I am done blogging.*

*With all that said, life happens, and the only constant is change.  Never say never.  I may be back one day. 

September: Ganesh Festival, A'bad, etc.

September in Mumbai means Ganesh Chathurthi and 10 days of celebrations around the worship of the elephant God who removes obstacles.  To be frank, I had never heard of this holiday before arriving in Mumbai.  Sure, I grew up praying to Ganesh before starting anything new, but I had no idea there was an entire annual holiday that is celebrated with such fanfare.  I take so much of life in Mumbai for granted, perhaps because I grew up seeing a lot of it, that I have to remind myself to take my camera with me to capture some of these interesting moments.  Until I do a better job at this, go to Google images and type "Ganesh Chathurthi Mumbai 2013" - that will give you an idea of what it's like.  It was really neat to take part in the celebrations by going to see and pray at the HUGE idols that were around every street corner (sponsored by building associations, corporations, politicians, you name it), or the smaller idols in people's homes.  The festival culminates in long street parades with immersion of the idols in a body of water.  The holiday was never celebrated in Gujarat, which is why I had never heard of it, but people have embraced it there too in the past few years.  This was something new, different and fun for us, and while we enjoyed it, I have to admit that the (extra) crowds, traffic and noise that are part of the festival season are something I can do without.

In the middle of the month, I also traveled to Ahmedabad for work purposes.  (One day soon I will travel to a different destination!)  I was excited about helping organize some work activities in the city where I was born.  I mean, really, where else is it possible but in the United States for an immigrant like myself to represent the country as its diplomat?  It was great to use my language skills and cultural knowledge to further U.S. diplomacy.  S did not necessarily understand why I was away for 3 days, and was sad and teary-eyed when we spoke on the phone... maybe for Mommy's benefit, I sometimes wonder.  However, he is absolutely no worse for the wear and within a day or so, he had completely forgotten I was ever gone.  

The rest of September was a blur.  S was off from school for a week and a half; I called it his Fall Break even though there is no Fall here.  We passed around some type of cold/virus within the family, but thankfully none of us had it very long.  We focused on some interior decorating in the house (something I'm not sure I have ever spent much time or energy on) in order to get it ready for my parents and relatives who will be visiting in October, and because it will be Diwali, and because we can.  October will be busy.  Stay tuned...

August: Movie, Pre-school, A'bad

While it's true that time flies when you're having fun, I think most of us agree that time flies, period!  My refrain since I've moved to Mumbai is that I don't have time. But perhaps I should re-phrase that to say I don't have the energy.  If I take a closer look at how I spend my days, there are pockets of time to check Facebook (hadn't been on it in weeks until recently), or upload pics to Flickr (haven't done so in MONTHS), or to do any number of the other things on my to-do list. At the end of the day, when faced with a choice between reading a few pages of a book/magazine or going to sleep, and getting on the computer, I regularly opt for the former.  I talk to a LOT of people every day as part of my job.  Only now am I realizing how draining that is. 

August went by in a blur of enjoying normal work hours after a very busy July, and adjusting to a new routine with S starting pre-school.  M and I took advantage of a holiday, and went on a morning movie-date to see the big Eid release Chennai Express.  It's neither thought-provoking nor award-worthy, but it sure was fun.  I just don't make it to the movies often anymore, so when I do, I enjoy it.  Hindi movies shown in India don't have English subtitles, but M had fun too.  And to top it off?  Upon exiting the theater, we were interviewed by a reporter from The Times of India about what we thought of the movie, and our names and comments showed up in the Mumbai Mirror section the next day!  I will (eventually) post a pic of that newspaper blurb.  

A few days later, S started pre-school. We prepped him by talking to him about it frequently in the days leading up to it. We also took him shopping to pick out a new lunch (well, snack) box and water bottle.  I went to work a couple of hours late his first two days, just so I could be there for my baby starting pre-school. It was an adjustment, but nothing too dramatic, and a month+ into it, it's obvious he really enjoys it.  Per S's request, M had to wait in the lobby for about 15-20 extra minutes for a few days after school started.  But even that's ended now.  S is already showing signs that he is a product of two very independent people by being very independent himself!  I will do well to remember that over the coming years...

We decided to go to Ahmedabad for a long weekend, to spend time with family and relax.  It wasn't the same as my cousin/niece was hospitalized due to dengue, but we still managed to have some fun.  I spent some of my energy worrying about her, some of it worrying about whether one of us would get bit by a dengue-carrying mosquito, and some of it trying to manage family expectations for us to come visit them.  My niece has fully recovered.  We did not get dengue, although those mosquitoes are not limited to any one particular place, and the only thing you can do is use insect repellant regularly.  The challenge of balancing relatives' expectations for us to visit and/or call with lack of time/energy will continue I think for the entire time we live here.  Wish me luck.  The Indian holiday of Raksha Bandhan took on a different tone this year.  I mailed a rakhi to my brother (who I typically see in person for this occasion), and got to tie rakhis in person to a few of my cousin brothers here, which was nice.  

That was August, and here I am telling you about it when September is almost over.  Guess I better start writing about September! 

Price(s) of living in Mumbai

• Milk: $5.26/gal (yummy milk straight from the dairy, delivered in 1 liter bottles every morning!)
• Loaf of sliced wheat bread: $1 (from the guy who comes to the door selling bread and eggs)
• 1/2 dozen eggs: $0.50
• Newspaper: $3 for a MONTH's delivery*
• 1.1 lbs. of tomatoes: $1.48 (from the veg/fruit guy who I texted to deliver this the next day!)
• A dozen mangoes: $5.55 (delivered by same veg/fruit guy) 
• Coconut (for fresh coconut water): $0.50 each (delivered to the door by who else but the coconut guy)
• A box of Cheetos: $10 (from now on I'm ordering from Amazon, where they are $3 for a bigger size)
• Boxed juices: ~$8/gal
• 2 liter of soda: $1.20
• 2 kilos (about 4.4 lbs) of wheat flour: $1.50
• Plastic bag to carry your groceries home (versus bringing a tote): $0.05/bag
• Diesel: $4.03/gallon (we have an SUV here, and it takes diesel)
• Mani-pedi: $14
• Men's haircut: $6
• Nice meal for two at the kind of place worthy of an infrequent date-night: $100
• Alcoholic Beverage (with liquor) at the same restaurant as above meal:  $20
• Bottle of Yellow Tail Chardonnay at the same restaurant as above: $70**
• Customized Birthday Cake of pirate design for S's 3rd birthday: $20 (enough for 8-10 people)

As you might expect, food and service/labor are quite cheap in India, but the concept of cheap is relative.  A couple of politicians recently went so far as to claim that one could purchase a full meal in Mumbai for $0.20 (Rs. 12).  Try to remember that while to you and me that is cheap as h*!!, it is not a paltry sum to millions of residents of this city.  And like politicians the world over who say dumb things and are out of touch, they had to eat their words (no pun intended) very shortly thereafter.

While it may not be as cheap as $0.20, prices are fairly reasonable (again, to you and me) when it comes to getting prepared food here.  When I find myself spending a lot of money on a meal, it usually means I'm eating somewhere fancy where I am paying for the ambiance and/or Western food offerings.  Maybe this will change as I have lived here longer, but for now, I find myself thinking there's just no reason to frequently spend money on either of those two.  After all, one of the things I looked forward to and am enjoying most about Mumbai is eating yummy Indian food; even with avoiding street stalls, there is plenty of that to be found and it is quite a bit cheaper! 

*Would you believe newspaper readership is on the increase in India?  It is opposite in the U.S. so it is hard for us to believe.  It is a combination of increase in literacy and accessibility (on every street corner, so cheap, and millions who don't have access to the Internet or electricity do have access to the newspaper).
**Please note that we did not engage in such foolishness as to spend $70 on a bottle of Yellow Tail Chardonnay!  I asked for the wine list, and when I saw that this was one of the least expensive bottles, I decided on a different drink!

The blur that was July

July, being my birth month and all, has always been special to me.  Three years ago, I woke up on July 1 and told M how excited I was that we would get to meet our son later that month.  This July 1, I thought fondly back to that day and looked forward to the rest of the month with all of its birthdays: my brother, then S, then me, then my mother, with a few other relatives thrown into the mix.  But here is what really happened in July.  ALL of our stuff arrived (from Barbados and the U.S.) seemingly at once, and on July 3, our place was full of boxes and unpacked belongings everywhere.  That same night, we escaped by going to the Consulate's Independence Day celebration, and it was such a great evening!  I took two days off specifically to get the house in order, and we spent a long weekend of 5 days in a flurry of putting things away.  July 9-12 was a combination of regular work duties and preparing for the advance team's arrival (more on that later).  I enjoyed the weekend of July 13-14 by relaxing, and spending time with M & S since I knew I wouldn't see them much over the coming two weeks.  We started working with the advance team for VP Biden and the Second Lady on July 15, and the next two weeks went by in a blur of activity.  I enjoy that sort of stuff, and preparing for a White House visit was a great experience (personally and professionally).  It gave me the side benefit of getting to know Mumbai in a way that I never could have accomplished on my own or as quickly.  Seriously... I got to see so much, from the slums of Dharavi  and the red-light district of Kamathipura, to the opulence and glamor that is the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel and the full range in between.  While lots of people did lots of things for this visit, our team was tasked with putting together a separate schedule of events for Dr. Jill Biden.  Visit Dr. Biden's Blog and read the entries for July 24 and 25 to see what she did here.  It was a very successful visit, and we all have the satisfaction that comes from a job well done.

Meanwhile you're wondering, what about those birthdays?  My sentiments exactly!  So... we sort of celebrated S's 3rd birthday on the night of, by having cupcakes at 9 pm when I finally got home from work.  He had taken a late nap (thank goodness!), so he was full of energy and happy to see me, and I was happy to spend some time with him.  My birthday was less of a success given I did not get home until 11 pm that night.  However, I have to say the day was still made special with cards, emails, phone calls, texts, and cake and flowers from one of my colleagues.  On July 27, I got a much-needed massage to recoup from the stress of the past 2 weeks, and went to a baby shower for a friend.  On Sunday, July 28, we celebrated properly by having cake and dinner with family in Mumbai.  Meanwhile, my family in the U.S. surprised my mother for her big birthday that same day.  And, "that's how the cookie crumbled" for July!  One of the best things to come out of it is the tons of comp time I accrued, which I cannot wait to use.

Life in Mumbai (so far)

Do you think a city has its own energy, and that its energy is different from that of other cities?  I never thought about this, not sure I'd even heard of this idea, until a new friend said that Mumbai has an energy: active, fast, draining, constantly moving... you get the idea.  I have never lived in a mega-city (defined as having a population of >15 million people; Mumbai's is 18-20 million) so what do I know about a city's energy?  I am quickly learning, and I think she is right! 

We have been here about 2 months now, and it has been consistently hectic the whole time.  Is it Mumbai's energy?  Is it the contrast of living in a/any big city after two years on an island in the Caribbean?  Is it that the pace at work is incredibly fast, demanding, and stressful, and that spills over into the rest of my life?  Is it because we just made an international move (i.e. I need to get a grip and stop expecting this to have been easy and leisurely)?  Is it the time difference with the U.S. such that we are routinely trying to figure out when it makes sense to connect with family and friends there?  Whatever it is, I admit I find myself wishing life would slow down; and well, if it doesn't, I will simply have to learn to cope with it. 

The challenges of living in Mumbai can be summed up as follows: traffic at all times (of vehicles and people), the noise (vehicle horns, the building construction next door that goes on 24-6, the apartment upstairs being finished, I could go on), the pollution (I read that breathing the air here is like smoking 20 cigarettes a day... yuck, and yikes!), and the pace at work (so much to do and so little time).

To contrast, here is what I really like or enjoy or appreciate about life in Mumbai:

• Mostly set work hours.  There is a lot to do but management understands that we also have lives and families.  So, we work hard all day and then we go home at a decent hour.
• An SUV and a driver.  You know I am not an SUV person (and neither is M).  Yet one of the best decisions we have made is having an SUV here.  And while M wants to drive (he has already, after we got our licenses last week), I will do my utmost not to.  It makes me appreciate our driver all the more. 
• Fans/dehumidifiers/air conditioners - using 2 out of 3 will go a long way to reducing that outside noise I mentioned above.  Perhaps the day will come when I will be tired of this "white noise" too but not yet.
• Really good household help.  She cooks, she cleans, she takes initiative, she has a great attitude, and she is great with S.   She is a keeper. 
• Anything can be delivered to the house!  To go along with this concept, you can run a tab with almost anyone... I love saying, "just put it on my tab." 
• Regular ordering & deliveries straight to my flat: milk, newspaper, veggies & fruits, bread & eggs, fresh coconuts (for coconut water)...
• The reality check.  No matter how hard things may seem, how tired I may be, how frustrated I am about something, I simply have to look outside to be reminded that I have it SO MUCH BETTER than millions of people.  Whatever it is that has me down, at least I have the resources to deal with it.  It doesn't mean I can't or won't complain... but it does mean that in my own mind, there's a limit to how much I should do that.  I have started looking into organizations to support to help with the needs around me, and I cannot wait to get involved. 

That's enough for now, to give you some sense of life here.  I will end with one more statistic about Mumbai - it is the 16th most expensive real estate market in the world! 

Welcome to India!

Our travel to India took many twists and turns in the planning stage; once it was all said and done, we left together from Washington, DC for Frankfurt, Germany on May 8, and had a fairly uneventful journey.  After a 5-hour layover, M, S, and our cat got on a flight to Mumbai while I flew to New Delhi.  I had the option of stopping in New Delhi for meetings and I took it, mostly because I wanted to and M was super supportive of me doing so.  Apparently there are no hotels in New Delhi which accept pets (I still find that hard to believe, but I didn't have the time or inclination to confirm or dispute it).  So, M offered to take S and the cat and go straight to Mumbai.  This all sounded good until I had to leave my little family at the boarding gate and walk away alone to a different flight.  Fighting tears, I decided to have a little faith and to trust that they would be okay.  I was so incredibly tired and jet lagged that I mostly slept through that flight and watched a movie.  Thankfully, M and S and the cat had a fairly uneventful flight too.  Surprisingly, S stayed awake for most of the journey except for 2-3 hours on each leg.  Since we decided to adopt the "whatever goes" policy during travel, he basically watched videos, and played with new, small toys that I purchased for the journey (thank you, Target Dollar Spot bins!). I'm happy to report that with a bit of luck and a lot of preparation, it is possible to fly on a long journey with a small child and not make everyone else on the plane miserable! 

I have known about this assignment since January 2011.  Is it any surprise then that when I landed here in May 2013 and saw the "Welcome to India" sign, I got goosebumps and couldn't stop smiling to myself?  After that, I got paranoid.  I was a woman traveling alone between airport and hotel in New Delhi around 1 a.m. with a random hotel shuttle driver.  Have you been watching the news?  If so, you'll know that I had some reason to be concerned and let's just say hyper-aware of what was going on at all times.  I had addressed my concerns with the appropriate parties before traveling, but still.  Once I got to the hotel safely and my worry about that subsided, I started wondering if my family made it to Mumbai in one piece and found our wonderful social sponsor who was meeting them at the airport.  I called the sponsor's cell phone at 2 a.m. and they were all together... yes!  Now I could try to get a few hours rest in the hotel room that was mostly wasted on me (I was only there for a sum total of 5.5 hours).  I really liked what I saw, so I am determined to stay with that hotel chain sometime in the near future!  The meetings were fine, and I'm glad I went.  That same evening, I got on a plane and headed to Mumbai.  Aforementioned wonderful sponsor came to pick me up at 10 p.m. (yes, after the late night a few hours before).  After all that travel, and meetings, and jet lag, it was music to my ears when I walked in and little S said, "Mommy, come, let me show you our new home."