Time Off, Training, and Transition

I get what's known as "home leave" between overseas assignments, designed with this idea that you need time to re-acclimate to America since you have been away for so long.  Due to reasons I won't bore you with, I was able to take every single day of the home leave I had accrued = 32 business days = 45 days!  We did not plan it out in advance, thinking we would rest, relax, catch up with family and friends, do fun and impromptu things with our son, and just enjoy being in the U.S. Bad idea, and lesson learned!  Home leave turned out to be quite stressful and unhappy (see previous blog post, and due to general transition angst), not very restful (had we forgotten we have an active child who needs time and attention?), cold, and we spent approx. two whole weeks just sick with some kind of bug!  Nevertheless, I won't malign the whole concept of home leave.  And we did enjoy parts of it, like my mother's home-cooked food, spending time with family and friends, restaurants and food in general in the U.S., Target (I could go on about this one thing alone but will spare you)... Lesson learned for next time though is that we will have a plan, we will take trips to vacation-type places (Disney, here we come?), and make a focused effort to schedule the time off with things to do to avoid what happened before.  Of course, watch, I'll never get this much time off again!

After seven weeks of home leave, we were in Washington, DC for 10 weeks of Hindi training.  M started with the beginner's class, and I was in a one-on-one advanced class.  I think he got a lot out of it, and he would agree, but I wish he had learned to speak it more versus learning to read but not have much of a vocabulary.  In my case, I found my training would be exhilarating, challenging, frustrating, tiring, and all-consuming (for that last bit, I chose to make it that way).  I stopped consuming books, magazines, news, TV, movies in English and instead did so in Hindi.  I spoke Hindi before, and when I tested in 2010, it was at level 1+/2.  Hindi is not what we speak at home; it is a language I learned while in school in India, and retained mostly through Bollywood and conversations with taxi-drivers when visiting India.  The 10 weeks of training was to get me to level 2/2, the minimum.  I knew I could do better and expected it of myself (is that a surprise to any of you?)... and I'm proud to say 10 weeks of training later, I am at a 3+/3+.  If you care to know what all these levels mean, you can read about the Interagency Language Roundtable scale.  Otherwise, let's just say I'm proud of myself for making the most of the opportunity given to me, and more importantly, I no longer hesitate in speaking Hindi. 

We bought a bunch of stuff we wanted to bring with us to India, we survived another pack-out, we sold our car, and we took care of a great deal of other minor details as it relates to moving (yet again). 

End of an era

Call me whatever name you wish but I just can't start telling you about life in Mumbai without first writing about the end of our first tour in Barbados.  You must forgive me for being so absent from blogging for uh, 7 months!  To recap our last two months at post... let's just say we learned what stress looks like and it is not pretty.  Here are the high- (or low) lights:

• One evening in early November, all 3 of us were home, had dinner, were paying attention to S, and yet he still fell and cut his left arm pretty severely and needed 17 external and 5 internal stitches.  We learned that when our child gets hurt, I'm a wreck and M is a rock.  S was incredibly resilient through 2 whole months of bandage changes 3-5 times per week, multiple antibiotic courses, stitch removals and more.  Thankfully his arm has healed well, and on the bright side, he can invent a terrific fictional story one day if he wants to in order to explain the scar!  Meanwhile, I really could have done without hearing all the time how, with a boy, it will just happen again and perhaps often. 
• We have some awesome friends who rallied around us with S's injury and our impending departure.  One showed up at the emergency room to be the fun distraction S needed through the whole ordeal.   She also held my hand as I was having a very hard time handling my baby being hurt so badly.  Friends came to visit and play with him when he was home-bound but tired of his parents (who were also tired).  A few weeks later, our friends hosted a large and incredibly fun going-away party for us.  They helped us shred papers after our shredder was sent off.  They mailed a box of stuff to us when we overestimated how much would fit in our luggage.  These few close-knit relationships made it all the harder to leave and I just wasn't myself while having to come to terms with it.  
• We had 2 visitors during the last month, and while we hope we showed them a good time in B'dos, I know we didn't show them the best of ourselves.  My brother came for a week right before pack-out, and a Foreign Service friend came to visit from X-mas to New Year's.  While it was great to see them and made us feel connected to our non-Barbados lives, it was also stressful to make sure they were having a good time.  We have decided, for our sake and for the sake of our guests, not to have visitors again in the last month (perhaps 2) of any assignment. 
• For sake of posterity, I must also tell you that we went to a concert 2 days before flying out with some friends.  One of our neighbors/friends is a very popular Barbadian singer and he was going to perform at this concert.  His wife and kids were at our going-away party the night before.  Imagine our surprise and delight when during his performance, he gives M and me a personal shout-out to bid us farewell.  It was an incredible moment and one we will always cherish. 

I realized I only do not like this career which requires moving frequently during the week the movers come to pack our stuff; it is so stressful to figure out what is going where, what you can live with or without for weeks and/or months at a time, etc.  But as a senior manager said recently, it is actually the first AND last 30 days of any person's assignment that are the most stressful, and how much support one gets during that time determines to a great extent how one feels about that post. 

Trip to St. Vincent & the Grenadines

I have had the wonderful opportunity to travel to other islands as part of my job here, and we are fortunate that M and S have been able to accompany me by paying for M's airfare and a night or two of personal hotel stay so we can explore.  We did the same for one last island trip to St. Vincent & the Grenadines (darn it, this time we had to pay for S's plane ticket too!). We flew there early one Saturday morning in October, and then took a one-hour ferry ride to the island of Bequia (one of the Grenadines).  There was something about taking a plane and then a boat to a tiny island (seven square miles) that made it feel like we were so far removed from the world; in fact we were only two transportation hours away from home and work!  The hotel we had booked for the night was charming and quiet, as was the rest of the island since tourist season had not yet begun.  We enjoyed the views, a beach that was essentially our own, nearby restaurants, and just rested and relaxed for about 28 hours.  On Sunday evening, we took the last ferry back to St. Vincent.

While Monday and Tuesday were packed with work activities for me, M & S enjoyed their vacation with leisurely breakfasts, pool and nap time, and just hanging out with no rules or routine.  When I finished work on Monday, there was just enough daylight left for us to go to the fort, our main purpose being to check out the views from the fort.  Imagine our delight when we learned that it is named Fort Charlotte, after the same queen for whom our 'hometown' in North Carolina is named.  The views did not disappoint.

On Tuesday, M & S took the 4 p.m. flight back to Barbados, while I took the 10 p.m. flight.  My work obligations were not going to be finished in time for the earlier flight, and we saw no reason to keep our 2-year old out until the later one.  After finishing work, I enjoyed a few hours of downtime at a hotel bar near the airport with a book, dinner and wine, and a fabulous view of the sunset.  While attending to the departure formalities at the airport, I had a most unexpected 'proud parent' moment.  Upon seeing my passport, the Immigration Official asked if that was my child who had flown out earlier (she remembered the surnames), to which I replied yes.  She then proceeded to tell me how he was the most well-behaved child and how impressed she was that he said "please" and "thank you" and "bye bye" to all involved.  It was late, I was tired, and yet I smiled all the way home!  Pictures of our trip can be found here. 

Family Celebration, Will Travel

The problem with not having anything going on is that there is nothing to blog about, and the problem with having a lot going on is that there is no time to blog about it. The highlight for September is that towards the end of the month, we traveled to Charlotte for a week to attend my cousin's engagement party.  The way it works in the Indian circles I know (far be it for me to speak for a billion people as there are lots of different customs and traditions in India) is that the guy's side hosts an engagement party and the girl's side hosts the wedding.  The engagement party is often the guy's family's opportunity to host a big celebration inviting all the people they want to since they are not likely to have a large guest list attend the wedding (to avoid burdening the girl's family).  The cousin I speak of is my mother's sister's son,  and in a close-knit family like ours, it would be unheard of for us to miss a family celebration.  Oh, and I haven't yet told you that we won't be able to attend his wedding due to my job-related timing!  So it became imperative for us to attend this party.  We didn't have family pressure; we simply felt the desire to be a part of at least one celebration. 

We flew to CLT on a Thursday and arrived around 4 p.m. I went to a Carolina Panthers football game with my brother that evening (he has awesome second row seats which only I hadn't enjoyed in the family!).  Too bad the Panthers couldn't keep it together and I was falling asleep at the game due to having been up since 4 a.m. that morning!  On Fri, S and I both got haircuts from my favorite stylist in the world, and we had a short visit with M's parents who came to CLT to see us and to attend the celebration.  We got a little dressed up on Fri evening to spend the evening catching up with family at my aunt's house and eating a lot of good food.  We also met the same aunt's daughter's infant twin girls for the first time!  Sat was the big day, with a religious ceremony in the morning at my aunt's house with approx. 100 people in attendance.  My parents and S were ready to go and M and I were still struggling (you try to manage all this with a 2-year old!), so we decided to send him ahead to the morning festivities with my parents.  He fell asleep on the way there, and then was rather upset to wake up and find no parents and lots of other relatives whom he did not recognize.  He is an otherwise happy, jovial child, but it took him all morning attached to me to finally realize I wasn't going anywhere without him.  Lesson learned!  We went back to my parents' in the afternoon to try to get some rest before the big evening party, while M went to the mall to buy a new shirt and tie (only men can manage to be so last minute, I think).  We all got dressed up yet again (ladies in saris, men in suits, including S who looked precious in his little black-with-white-pinstripe-vest-and-pants and pink tie) to head to a hotel ballroom for the party.  S actually had a cold by then and a slight fever and M suggested we stay home.  I felt like a bad mother but I had not flown all this way to miss the one thing for which we had made the trip.  As I was saying this, S was running around downstairs with my parents and bro and having a blast, not acting the least bit sick!  So, we went to the party with close to 300 guests and had a great time celebrating my cousin and his fiancee, and spending time with family.  It was my first time balancing multiple family events with multiple outfit changes with multiple late nights with a 2-year old, and I will say that I would do things a little differently if I had to do it again!  I'm pleased that our family understood and absolved my cousin (the one with the twin girls) and I of any and all responsibilities for the events, except to take care of our kid(s) and enjoy ourselves.  I'm disappointed that in the chaos of it all, I did not manage to get a single picture of the three of us together in any of our various outfits, or a few other shots that I had in mind.  Oh well.  What I will always remember is S dancing to the DJ's music that night with cousins, and the smiles on all of our faces (including S's great-grandfather), while watching them.

On Sun, we spent time with M's parents before they headed home on Mon morning.  On Mon, M and I went to dentist appointments during the day and went shopping at the mall (I was on mission to find a dress appropriate for the upcoming Marine Ball).  On Mon night, we got together with a big group of friends at a friend's house.  It was wonderful to catch up with them, and to see their little ones (they're all around S's age) and how well S interacted with all of them.  On Tues, we took it a little more easy, but hit Target and a few other stores (can't not go shopping when in the U.S.!) and packed.  On Wed, we flew out of CLT around 6 a.m. to arrive in BGI by 2 p.m. - it was no surprise that after all this activity and craziness, both S and I slept the entire two flights home (and M slept one of the two)!  Pictures here...

Crop Over Craziness

My friend RZ beat me to blogging about the craziness that goes on during Crop Over (aka Carnival), and since she did such a great job, I'm going to send you to her blog entry and awesome 2 minute video.  It's not cheating... it's simply recognizing that someone else has it covered!  Now that you know what it's all about, let me tell you about my experience.  Waking up at 6 a.m. on Friday, going to work all day, then spending time with my little one (who did not understand or care that I would be up all night) meant that I went into Foreday Morning sans nap.  Good thing a friend was having a pre-party at her house starting at 10 p.m.  I think the last time I started a night out at that time was in college.  All day it rained and rained in Barbados, and I for one would have stayed home had it continued.  But, it stopped, and it was a beautiful, clear, cool night to party away in the streets.  I hit a block at about 4 a.m. (best guess) where I just couldn't shake my hips anymore but was okay walking.  I bought a snack of popcorn from a street vendor and kept on movin'.  We finished in the 5 o'clock hour, and I was home at 6 a.m. ready to CRASH.  In addition to the fun, I will always remember S pointing at me covered in various paint colors and learning "blue" and "green."  Once it was all washed off, for a few days I got to hear his sweet little voice saying, "Mommy, blue all gone.  Mommy, green all gone."  :)

Unlike RZ, I did not do the Breakfast Party.  It's not my intent to sound like an old lady, but I spent all of Sunday recovering from Foreday Morning and getting ready for Kadooment.  I was feeling pretty good and back to normal by 8 a.m. on Monday.  We started the parade with a drizzle, which turned into a beautiful day with a mix of sunshine, clouds, and more drizzle that was great to keep us all energized and moving.  I had fun.  Now that I've said that, let me elaborate.  I had fun, I'm glad I did it, and I fully believe that it completes my Barbados experience in a way that I had not anticipated.  However, I realized that I'm past all the partying and drinking too much and it was a little much to be surrounded by it all day.  That's all.  I didn't notice it as much during Foreday Morning... was it the darkness, the sleep deprivation...?  The first couple of days after it was over, I said I'm glad I did it once, but I would not do it again.  Now that a couple of weeks have passed, I find myself thinking I would do one of the two events (not both) if I were here during Crop Over again... There's just something special about the music, and letting go (especially after working so hard for so many weeks), and spending time with the friends I've made here that made it an experience I will never forget.  I only regret the things I didn't do...!

Eleven people is a party

Four generations of my family were under one roof for a week in Barbados, and what a week it was!  In case you are wondering, hosting so many people all at once was at least half our idea.  Whether you think this is cool or crazy says a lot about how you grew up... that's all I'm sayin'.  Our home has 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, so we had to get creative in how to best fit everyone.  With a bit of room-sharing and a bit of bed-borrowing, everyone had a comfortable place to sleep all week.  We cooked a lot, because that's what you do when a whole bunch of Indian people get together, especially when they're mostly vegetarian and on an island where the diet consists heavily of chicken and fish.  Would it shock you if I said we ran the dishwasher 2-3 times per day, and still had to wash a whole lot of dishes by hand?  That we took out the trash 1-2 times per day and not due to using paper plates (which we hardly did).  That's what feeding 11 people 2-4 times per day looks like.  Don't let me fool you into believing I did all that cooking and cleaning!  We all helped in all kinds of ways to keep the kitchen running while also allowing our visitors to feel like they were somewhat on vacation.  Now that I've covered the mechanics of eating and sleeping (rest assured the bathroom exchanges worked themselves out and I don't feel the need to discuss them here), let's talk about how much fun we had. 

We rented a van, and one day, had a blast driving all around the island in two vehicles, making stops as necessary, enjoying viewpoints, taking pictures, and having a roadside-beachfront picnic between rain showers.  We loved sitting on our back patio, drinking our respective morning (or happy hour) beverages,  enjoying the nice view, while S ran around playing with any and all family members he could engage at that particular time.  Going on a catamaran cruise is my favorite activity in B'dos, no doubt about it.  Going on a catamaran cruise with 10 family members is a memory for a lifetime!  We went to beaches, out to eat, to Mount Gay Rum's Visitor Center, a few of us went to Flower Forest, a couple of them went scuba diving, and we made sure they saw and experienced the best of what Barbados has to offer. 

I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you what a wonderful time S had and how he was showered with love, attention, and camera-clicks the whole entire week.  He would start his day by making sure the whole household was up when he was so he had his choice of playmates!  He only managed to nap when exhausted and in a car seat; otherwise, he was wide awake to take it all in.  We celebrated his 2nd birthday during the family visit, and it felt like a week-long event, not just a day.  The heading of this blog post comes from my thoughts about whether to throw S a birthday party... when I learned that 11 of us would be together for his birthday, I said "eleven people IS a party" and put aside all thoughts of hosting an event any larger.  Can you tell it was perfect, just the way it was?!  The week was busy, chaotic, and hard work, and yet even a month later, I still smile when I think about it. 

Be back soon

I have been wanting to write a blog post but I don't know what to say.  I started drafting an entry on two to three occasions and then deleted it each time.  I finally realized that maybe I should just do a 'place holder' entry.  So, to my friends who are still checking this blog to see what's going on in the B household in B'dos... we will be back soon!  It has been an exhausting month and a half, with all work and no play, for both of us.  Since I don't talk about work here, I won't explain the gory (or boring, depending on your perspective) details.  Take the summer busy season, throw in a large project, remove a few colleagues due to very unexpected reasons, and you have the perfect recipe for why both M and I have been over-worked.  But, we are due for a change very soon.  The large project will be over in a few days, the colleagues will be back, and (cross our fingers) we can go back to enjoying life on a tropical island -- which by the way, has never looked like what many of you have imagined back home, sorry!  Here are some things to which we can look forward: S turning 2 in three short weeks, a house full of visiting family (just wait until I write about that!), a catamaran sail booked, and a few glorious days OFF!