End of an era

Call me whatever name you wish but I just can't start telling you about life in Mumbai without first writing about the end of our first tour in Barbados.  You must forgive me for being so absent from blogging for uh, 7 months!  To recap our last two months at post... let's just say we learned what stress looks like and it is not pretty.  Here are the high- (or low) lights:

• One evening in early November, all 3 of us were home, had dinner, were paying attention to S, and yet he still fell and cut his left arm pretty severely and needed 17 external and 5 internal stitches.  We learned that when our child gets hurt, I'm a wreck and M is a rock.  S was incredibly resilient through 2 whole months of bandage changes 3-5 times per week, multiple antibiotic courses, stitch removals and more.  Thankfully his arm has healed well, and on the bright side, he can invent a terrific fictional story one day if he wants to in order to explain the scar!  Meanwhile, I really could have done without hearing all the time how, with a boy, it will just happen again and perhaps often. 
• We have some awesome friends who rallied around us with S's injury and our impending departure.  One showed up at the emergency room to be the fun distraction S needed through the whole ordeal.   She also held my hand as I was having a very hard time handling my baby being hurt so badly.  Friends came to visit and play with him when he was home-bound but tired of his parents (who were also tired).  A few weeks later, our friends hosted a large and incredibly fun going-away party for us.  They helped us shred papers after our shredder was sent off.  They mailed a box of stuff to us when we overestimated how much would fit in our luggage.  These few close-knit relationships made it all the harder to leave and I just wasn't myself while having to come to terms with it.  
• We had 2 visitors during the last month, and while we hope we showed them a good time in B'dos, I know we didn't show them the best of ourselves.  My brother came for a week right before pack-out, and a Foreign Service friend came to visit from X-mas to New Year's.  While it was great to see them and made us feel connected to our non-Barbados lives, it was also stressful to make sure they were having a good time.  We have decided, for our sake and for the sake of our guests, not to have visitors again in the last month (perhaps 2) of any assignment. 
• For sake of posterity, I must also tell you that we went to a concert 2 days before flying out with some friends.  One of our neighbors/friends is a very popular Barbadian singer and he was going to perform at this concert.  His wife and kids were at our going-away party the night before.  Imagine our surprise and delight when during his performance, he gives M and me a personal shout-out to bid us farewell.  It was an incredible moment and one we will always cherish. 

I realized I only do not like this career which requires moving frequently during the week the movers come to pack our stuff; it is so stressful to figure out what is going where, what you can live with or without for weeks and/or months at a time, etc.  But as a senior manager said recently, it is actually the first AND last 30 days of any person's assignment that are the most stressful, and how much support one gets during that time determines to a great extent how one feels about that post. 

Crop Over Craziness

My friend RZ beat me to blogging about the craziness that goes on during Crop Over (aka Carnival), and since she did such a great job, I'm going to send you to her blog entry and awesome 2 minute video.  It's not cheating... it's simply recognizing that someone else has it covered!  Now that you know what it's all about, let me tell you about my experience.  Waking up at 6 a.m. on Friday, going to work all day, then spending time with my little one (who did not understand or care that I would be up all night) meant that I went into Foreday Morning sans nap.  Good thing a friend was having a pre-party at her house starting at 10 p.m.  I think the last time I started a night out at that time was in college.  All day it rained and rained in Barbados, and I for one would have stayed home had it continued.  But, it stopped, and it was a beautiful, clear, cool night to party away in the streets.  I hit a block at about 4 a.m. (best guess) where I just couldn't shake my hips anymore but was okay walking.  I bought a snack of popcorn from a street vendor and kept on movin'.  We finished in the 5 o'clock hour, and I was home at 6 a.m. ready to CRASH.  In addition to the fun, I will always remember S pointing at me covered in various paint colors and learning "blue" and "green."  Once it was all washed off, for a few days I got to hear his sweet little voice saying, "Mommy, blue all gone.  Mommy, green all gone."  :)

Unlike RZ, I did not do the Breakfast Party.  It's not my intent to sound like an old lady, but I spent all of Sunday recovering from Foreday Morning and getting ready for Kadooment.  I was feeling pretty good and back to normal by 8 a.m. on Monday.  We started the parade with a drizzle, which turned into a beautiful day with a mix of sunshine, clouds, and more drizzle that was great to keep us all energized and moving.  I had fun.  Now that I've said that, let me elaborate.  I had fun, I'm glad I did it, and I fully believe that it completes my Barbados experience in a way that I had not anticipated.  However, I realized that I'm past all the partying and drinking too much and it was a little much to be surrounded by it all day.  That's all.  I didn't notice it as much during Foreday Morning... was it the darkness, the sleep deprivation...?  The first couple of days after it was over, I said I'm glad I did it once, but I would not do it again.  Now that a couple of weeks have passed, I find myself thinking I would do one of the two events (not both) if I were here during Crop Over again... There's just something special about the music, and letting go (especially after working so hard for so many weeks), and spending time with the friends I've made here that made it an experience I will never forget.  I only regret the things I didn't do...!

Eleven people is a party

Four generations of my family were under one roof for a week in Barbados, and what a week it was!  In case you are wondering, hosting so many people all at once was at least half our idea.  Whether you think this is cool or crazy says a lot about how you grew up... that's all I'm sayin'.  Our home has 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, so we had to get creative in how to best fit everyone.  With a bit of room-sharing and a bit of bed-borrowing, everyone had a comfortable place to sleep all week.  We cooked a lot, because that's what you do when a whole bunch of Indian people get together, especially when they're mostly vegetarian and on an island where the diet consists heavily of chicken and fish.  Would it shock you if I said we ran the dishwasher 2-3 times per day, and still had to wash a whole lot of dishes by hand?  That we took out the trash 1-2 times per day and not due to using paper plates (which we hardly did).  That's what feeding 11 people 2-4 times per day looks like.  Don't let me fool you into believing I did all that cooking and cleaning!  We all helped in all kinds of ways to keep the kitchen running while also allowing our visitors to feel like they were somewhat on vacation.  Now that I've covered the mechanics of eating and sleeping (rest assured the bathroom exchanges worked themselves out and I don't feel the need to discuss them here), let's talk about how much fun we had. 

We rented a van, and one day, had a blast driving all around the island in two vehicles, making stops as necessary, enjoying viewpoints, taking pictures, and having a roadside-beachfront picnic between rain showers.  We loved sitting on our back patio, drinking our respective morning (or happy hour) beverages,  enjoying the nice view, while S ran around playing with any and all family members he could engage at that particular time.  Going on a catamaran cruise is my favorite activity in B'dos, no doubt about it.  Going on a catamaran cruise with 10 family members is a memory for a lifetime!  We went to beaches, out to eat, to Mount Gay Rum's Visitor Center, a few of us went to Flower Forest, a couple of them went scuba diving, and we made sure they saw and experienced the best of what Barbados has to offer. 

I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you what a wonderful time S had and how he was showered with love, attention, and camera-clicks the whole entire week.  He would start his day by making sure the whole household was up when he was so he had his choice of playmates!  He only managed to nap when exhausted and in a car seat; otherwise, he was wide awake to take it all in.  We celebrated his 2nd birthday during the family visit, and it felt like a week-long event, not just a day.  The heading of this blog post comes from my thoughts about whether to throw S a birthday party... when I learned that 11 of us would be together for his birthday, I said "eleven people IS a party" and put aside all thoughts of hosting an event any larger.  Can you tell it was perfect, just the way it was?!  The week was busy, chaotic, and hard work, and yet even a month later, I still smile when I think about it. 

Be back soon

I have been wanting to write a blog post but I don't know what to say.  I started drafting an entry on two to three occasions and then deleted it each time.  I finally realized that maybe I should just do a 'place holder' entry.  So, to my friends who are still checking this blog to see what's going on in the B household in B'dos... we will be back soon!  It has been an exhausting month and a half, with all work and no play, for both of us.  Since I don't talk about work here, I won't explain the gory (or boring, depending on your perspective) details.  Take the summer busy season, throw in a large project, remove a few colleagues due to very unexpected reasons, and you have the perfect recipe for why both M and I have been over-worked.  But, we are due for a change very soon.  The large project will be over in a few days, the colleagues will be back, and (cross our fingers) we can go back to enjoying life on a tropical island -- which by the way, has never looked like what many of you have imagined back home, sorry!  Here are some things to which we can look forward: S turning 2 in three short weeks, a house full of visiting family (just wait until I write about that!), a catamaran sail booked, and a few glorious days OFF! 

Guests

We have been in Barbados for 14 months now, and much to my surprise and relief, we have not had that many guests (that may change after this blog entry).  Both sets of parents have made the trip, of course.  My brother has come twice, once with our parents and a second time with two friends.  He is planning his third trip as I write this and may have booked his tickets for all I know.  For more than a year, that was it.  Lots of people have talked about coming down, but life, money, reality intervene.  So, I was thrilled when I learned that my bestie TZ was going to come for nearly a week in early Dec.  And then one of my first cousins decided to visit with his girlfriend (with girlfriend, huh? Things that make you go hmm?!) in early Jan.  We did very similar things with both sets of guests, and I feel like we have this down pact.  We know what beaches to take them to if dropping them off on their own while we are at work.  We know that one day of the weekend will be spent driving them to the northernmost point of the island and then all the way down the East Coast so they can experience the breathtaking views of that rugged side.  We know they will likely want to spend a day on a catamaran.  I don't mean to make this sound rote because we definitely enjoy it too.  It's nice to have family and friends experience this island and get to see where we live.  By taking them around, we get to play tourists too (albeit experienced ones) which is a nice change from our day to day.  We vary it up based on the guests' interests, i.e. parents are more into gardens and such, the younger set is more into rum punch... well, never mind... it seems everyone wants the rum punch (and I am definitely the good hostess with a pitcher in the fridge ready to go when we have guests)!  You get my drift.  Throw in a bit of playing with S and his normal cute, charming self, and they all have really good visits

In our remaining months, we already know to expect the parents and my bro one more time.  It will be interesting and fun to see who else makes the trip.  Meanwhile, I'm playing like a tourist and making a list of all the things I still have left to do here so that I can make sure to get it in before it's pack-out time. 

Dooflicky & Thanksgiving, 2011

I am starting to realize that holidays (local and U.S.) in this Foreign Service life serve as not only a countdown (how many more ____ holiday will I celebrate at this Post?), they are also an indicator of how settled you are in your current home.  Dooflicky is the name of the annual Barbadian Independence Day celebration held at the Embassy.  Last year it took place about two weeks after we arrived here.  While we had fun, it was definitely a blur of meeting new people, being introduced to Barbadian culture via its foods and music, and meeting the needs of our then 4 month old child.  This year, we were encouraging newcomers to attend because we knew what to expect and how much fun it was and wanted them to experience it too.  We had even more fun than last year and it was a social gathering of people we knew and with whom we spend time regularly.  Even S recognizes many of the faces at this point, and he had a good time dancing to the music and running around the courtyard. 

Thanksgiving also had a different feel in its second time here.  Due to our food preferences and allergies, M and I tend to have a low-key Thanksgiving celebration when left to our own devices... we tend to make Indian food, actually, and that's what we did last year!  We know so many more people now, and were appreciative of being included in a friend/neighbor's celebration.  We contributed a green bean casserole and had a lovely evening pigging out with new friends. 

These holidays also serve as a countdown though.  Last year, we knew we would be here for these events in 2011.  Now that November 2011 has come and gone, we don't really know whether we will be here next year for these same holidays.  Our departure date won't be set for some time to come, but we can't be certain whether it will be Nov 1 or Nov 30 or somewhere in between.  Going forward, we either have to go to the event/happening or forgo it entirely since we can't rely anymore on the fallback of "we'll go next year."

Our first Marine Ball

Marines are posted at many embassies (and consulates?) around the world to provide security.  To be clear, their role is to protect the information held inside the buildings (and not us, the people), and they are a very integral part of the Embassy community.  The Marine Ball is held in many locations worldwide to celebrate the U.S. Marine Corps' birthday, this one being the 236th.  M and I decided we would try to attend at least one Marine Ball at each post we serve that holds them.  We missed last year's due to having arrived only two weeks prior with neither a childcare option nor the mental energy to contemplate attending a formal event so soon.  And who knows what next year will bring?  Although the dress code is technically formal, at least at our Post they relax it where women can wear short dresses and men can wear suits.  M wore a suit, and I decided to wear a black sari.  I still don't know what got into me in terms of the sari.  Not too long ago, if my mother had suggested I wear Indian clothes to such an affair, I would have scoffed at the notion and gone shopping for a new dress.  I had the opportunity and the budget to buy a new dress but simply decided I would opt for wearing a sari since I rarely get the chance to do so these days.  Plus, it is an American event... what better way to showcase America's diversity?  Anyway, I did not feel at all out of place and got quite a few compliments :)  It doesn't mean I will do the same at future balls, because after all, it's a great excuse to buy a new dress! 

We left S in the capable hands of his regular nanny, and were sent off with his smiling face waving "bye bye."  That's exactly how I like to start an evening out with my hubby!  In a nutshell: the drinks were free-flowing, the food was so-so, the dessert bar was delicious, the music had its ups and downs, and what made the evening terrific was the wonderful company.  We don't get out much (by choice) without the little one, so when we do, it is nice to have a successful evening like this one.

One year of living in Barbados

This week marks our one year anniversary of arriving in Barbados.  We arrived with a 3.5 month old baby, a whole lot of luggage, and even more uncertainty about what this new life would bring.  A year later, we have a 15.5 month old  toddler (can I please still call him baby?!) who is definitely starting to show flickers of personality and independence; hopefully we have a lot less stuff than we came with because we used it up (although we do need to purge more); and the uncertainty seems far less daunting when you've done this even once.  To echo Oprah, "what we know for sure" is that this life is the right choice for us.  While Barbados may not have been high on our list of places we hoped to experience in this career, we are not only very thankful that it was chosen for us, we are most definitely maximizing our time here.

These are a few of my favorite things about living here, in a sort of stream of consciousness type list: beaches, spending the day on a catamaran, rum punch, fresh coconuts and coconut water sold roadside every weekend for US$1, beachfront restaurants, the Haagen-Dazs ice cream shoppe, walks on the beach with my little family before/after visiting said ice cream shoppe, the weather (I could go on about the weather for pages, but I will spare you), the house we have been assigned, the little fountain that turns on in the little pond behind our house, the sky as I look out of our bathroom window every morning (it never looks the same), waking up with sunlight every day of the year, those colleagues who I'm fortunate enough to call friends... I could go on, but this is what comes to mind immediately.

I now share with you what my BFF NW wrote in an email just this week, because it captures so well the essence of our life here: "Hearing you talk about soaking in your last year in Barbados makes me smile. Your life sounds so hectic (to me), with all the travel, but ... it seems, because it's so impermanent, it's really making you slow down."  I could not have said it better.

Summer, Barbados style

Summer means even hotter weather than usual, but I hardly notice it since I'm in a too-cold office building all day.  When I am out and about on weekends, or enjoying the beach/pool, I just try to soak it in (while ignoring M's moans and groans about the temps here and how will he ever survive in Mumbai!).

Summer also means rainy/hurricane season.  It's not constant, and thankfully we have not had any bad storms (crossing fingers and saying a prayer, or two) so far.  But they are not kidding.  When it rains, it rains a lot.  And like most weather, it always comes at the most inconvenient time, i.e. during rush hour traffic, the week you have guests from the U.S., the day of Grand Kadooment (the main, big Carnaval celebration day).  This past week, when nothing of that sort has been going on, it hasn't rained at all.  Although, I do hear a storm is brewing nearby...

Summer means lots and lots of mangoes... huge, fresh as in picked-straight-from-the-tree-never-seen-a-fridge-fresh, and free thanks to colleagues whose homes have mango trees!  The baby loves eating them and I feel like such a good mommy giving it to him.  Plus, you should see the smiles on my mother's and grandfather's faces when they hear about the baby eating mangoes galore!  It reminds them of India, and they constantly say how blessed he is to be able to enjoy mangoes the way he has the past few months.  The fruit will be out of season soon, and I'm trying to figure out just how many I want to stock up on by pureeing and freezing into cubes.

Summer means busy season at work, and that's all I want to say about that.  I also transitioned to a different role, and the adjustment is keeping me plenty busy.  Summer means baby S and I both celebrated birthdays.  He had fun making a mess of the cake.  For the record, he did not like cake as he had never had anything so sweet before.  Frankly, I'd like to keep it that way.  I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that he is 1.  When did that happen?!  Where is the pause button?! 

Summer means my brother came to visit for his second trip, this time with two friends.  It was wonderful to have him around, and fun to see him play with S.  It would have been better if S had not been taken aback by 3 new people and gotten more comfortable sooner with his uncle, but that's okay.  Such is life, especially when you live thousands of miles away from family. 

You may not like me very much after you read this last bit, but you want to know the best part about summer in Barbados?  The honest truth?  The best part about summer in Barbados is that it doesn't really end!  When everyone else starts to complain about how cold it is wherever they are, I'll still get to wear sleeveless tops and sandals... Lovin' it!

What have we been up to?

No blog post since June 5... how embarrassing!  What have we been up to, you ask?  Here is the quick version of how the past 1.5 months have flown by.  I was very busy at work with not only my "day job" as the expression goes, but also the additional task of helping plan the Embassy's official Independence Day reception.  The guest list is government and business contacts, so it has to be executed well.  I was named the understudy, i.e. I get to lead the efforts in planning next year's event, so you better believe I was paying a lot of attention and taking good notes throughout the planning process this year.  I was also the emcee at this year's event, and am very pleased I did well (based on feedback received).  Kudos to M who stepped up to fill a gap by serving as the event photographer. 

Sometime in June, I injured my right wrist during yoga class, and as you know, the world doesn't stop when you hurt something.  Although it was sore and I stopped going to yoga to let it heal, I otherwise kept using it like I always do including picking up baby, etc.  Well, peeling a bunch of potatoes was the last straw as I woke up one morning and could hardly move my right hand.  The doc said to immobilize it for 2 weeks, which is easier said than done with an infant at home, and a job that requires computer usage and well, my right hand!  But, with M's extra help at home, and colleagues at work who were also super supportive, I got through it.  It feels much better now, and I'm happy to say I was able to return to yoga two days ago after a month's hiatus. 

Other than those two big things that seemed to take over our lives for a little while, we had our normal routine (think back to previous post) and enjoyed introducing S to new things and watching him grow.  More on S in the next post...

Family visit II

We recently had our second "group" of visitors when M's parents came the week of Apr 23-30.  It's amazing how caught up we have been in our daily routine over the past few weeks that we have hardly taken advantage of this beautiful island on which we live.  It was nice to get a break from the norm with guests here to show around, so that we ourselves could get in some sightseeing!  It also helped that in a span of 11 days, M and I went to work only 2; we enjoyed 2 long weekends thanks to 4 local holidays and a day of comp time.  The weather was strange yet again, with lots of dark clouds and rain (makes me wonder if our guests bring this with them?!), but we managed to make the most of it.  In what has quickly become a tradition, on their first day here we had a picnic on Farley Hill and then showed them around the East Coast of Barbados.  Throughout the week, we went to a garden full of orchids, toured 2 different plantation homes, and enjoyed the breathtaking views at the island's northernmost point.  They ventured out on their own to 2 museums, Mount Gay Rum, and a craft village/center.  M accompanied them for an undersea voyage on Atlantis Submarine (baby and I stayed home due to height requirements they have for children for safety reasons).  All in all, I think they had a lovely time here and got some much needed R&R.  M & I enjoyed having family around and wished it wouldn't be many months before we see them again.  And of course, perhaps most importantly, S loved all of the attention, extra play time and smiles/giggles he got from spending time with his grandparents!

Have one's cake & eat it too

I really don't like this expression, and for years, didn't truly grasp what it conveyed.  I always thought, "huh? Isn't there another/better way to say this?"  But, I guess there's a reason this idiom has been around for a long time.  And I must admit, for the past 8-10 days, I have wanted to have my cake and eat it too in many ways.

M started working at the Embassy last week, in a part-time job share position.  We had known about this for a while, and it meant we had to make childcare arrangements for baby S.  We found a lady who has prior experience with babysitting 2 children (for different families who provided good references) as young as S, and she started coming to our house about 10 days ago.  That is where the "wanting best of both worlds" began:

1. I want both M and me to be able to work, but it's been an adjustment to have someone else watch our baby while we are at work.  Yes, rationally, it does not make sense that one could accomplish the former without involving the latter, but it's a different matter actually doing it.
2. We are fortunate to have a nanny who will provide one-on-one care for S in his own familiar surroundings.  It is nice that we can pay her a good wage by local standards, and have it be within our means.  The flip side of this is someone is in our home while we are not here!  It's a strange feeling.  You wonder whether this person is going through your stuff, or you notice they moved something, etc.  It's an adjustment process for sure, one that I had not anticipated.
3. The nanny came by for about 8 hours in an effort to transition from S being with Daddy all day to S being with nanny part of the day.  From the first time she came, S has greeted her with a smile, as he tends to do everyone.  One or both of us was within earshot but out of sight during those initial 8 hours while she spent time with S so that we could gauge their interaction and if he was upset by being with her.  He was his usual happy self, and fussed/cried at his normal times, i.e. wanting to eat or get a diaper change.  It has been nice to leave for work without a baby meltdown to accompany already frantic departures.  BUT, it has also made me wonder if I am replaceable, if he will forget me, if he will like nanny more than me, etc.  I know I can't have a baby who adjusts well to his new caretaker and also one who cries (for mommy's benefit?) when mommy leaves...
4. Lastly, I am realizing that I can't be an employer and also a friend.  It may be a cultural thing, or maybe it's the norm and I don't know it because this is my first experience with hiring personal help.  I knew from the interview that she was quiet and reserved, and well, I liked that!  So, why now do I want her to be the chit-chatty, tell-me-her-life-story type?  She takes good care of S and I need to leave it at that.

Meanwhile, M is enjoying his new job, likes getting out of the house for a few hours each day and having adult interaction, and he has been his usual laid back self about the entire transition.  All in all, this has been quite an adjustment... not so much for the little one or daddy, as you can now tell, but definitely for mommy!

Family Visit I

The long anticipated visit by my parents and brother finally happened, and the week went by in a blur. They arrived late on a Saturday night, and it was fun to surprise them with the baby still awake when I opened the front door. They were expecting him to be asleep and disappointed about having to wait until the next day to see him, so it was nice to see their reactions when I greeted them with baby in hand. We had a lazy, relaxed start on Sunday with a late picnic lunch at Farley Hill National Park. We then drove down the East Coast and showed them the scenic views of the windward side of Barbados. Monday was booked for a day of sailing on a catamaran, a first for us since we hadn't ventured on our own to do this yet, and a belated Xmas gift for the family. After a wonderful day of sailing on the west coast of Barbados, including a buffet lunch and plenty of rum punches at an open bar, I think we can all attest that it was easily one of the most enjoyable things to do on this island. I'm determined to go sailing at least once a quarter during our short time here, whether on our own or with our guests. I went to work on Tues & Wed, and the family spent lots of quality time with the baby at home. My mother was sweet enough to suggest that M and I take some time for ourselves, and we are so glad we took her offer. On Tues night, M and I went out on our first date in 7+ months, and had a wonderful evening. We went to a highly recommended restaurant and were not disappointed. It was located on the terrace of a beautiful, boutique, oceanfront hotel; the food was quite good, the candlelit ambiance was lovely, and we vowed not to let 7 more months go by!

On Wed evening, we took the family out to dinner at the Indian-Thai restaurant I have mentioned before, and it was a good choice. The next 3 days went by too quickly with visits to beaches, Bridgetown, Mount Gay Rum Factory, arts/crafts shops, etc. Dad started to feel ill, with a severe sore throat, fever, etc. so unfortunately, their time here also involved a visit to the urgent care clinic. Thankfully, I think he still enjoyed his time here overall, particularly with the baby. On Sat night, as their visit was approaching its end with an early Sun morning departure, my mother also started to feel ill. She got home okay and ended up going to the urgent care at home on Monday. My guess is they picked up something while traveling and it took its time in taking its toll. Crossing fingers that my brother manages to get by with his current sore throat and nothing worse.

In spite of my efforts to keep my mother out of the kitchen and make this a true vacation for her, she still managed to cook for us and pamper us as she always does (in addition to snacks/sweets she made at home and brought). S had a wonderful time with all of the attention he received for a whole week. Skyping regularly helped him not feel like they were strangers and we truly think he at least recognized their voices (he is likely too young to make out faces on a computer screen). I hate the feeling of a too-quiet house after it has been full of loved ones and laughter, and I think even S noticed the void on Sunday after we dropped off the family at the airport.

A (football) season gone by

I am writing this during Super Bowl XLV, so that ought to tell you how much I am paying attention to the big game. I was fairly excited about getting to watch it today, but similar to how the rest of the season has been, I have not actually been able to watch it.

Between having an infant to care for, and moving to another country, I have not been able to watch a single football game this season... not even bits of one! When S was 10-11 weeks old, I had the opportunity to go watch a live Panthers game with my brother who had awesome, 2nd row seats this season. Being a new mom, I couldn't get past my concern over nursing/pumping and leaving my little one (albeit with grandparents), so I passed. Mind you, hubby took advantage of these same awesome seats with bro when baby was only 5 weeks old! Between taking care of baby and all the zillion details related to moving, I never watched a game when we were in the U.S. After moving to Barbados, we did not have cable for 1+ month, in spite of our efforts. The plan we chose to go with did not in fact include the channel(s) on which NFL games were shown. That plan was more expensive, and frankly, we never had more than basic cable in the U.S. so we weren't too interested in paying for a bunch of channels here. We just wanted more than the 1 local channel we were getting when without cable. And that's how the rest of the NFL season went by...

So, I was fairly excited to learn that we would be able to watch the Super Bowl on ESPN International, as it broadcasts it in hundreds of countries. Imagine my dismay when, close to the start of the game, I discovered that we would not get to see any Super Bowl commercials. What fun is that?! You know you are watching ESPN International when the ads during Super Bowl are for tennis tournaments and La Liga (Spanish football, you know, football as the rest of the world knows it). Even when the game started, I was making dinner, and after took the baby up for his bedtime. I came back down at the exact moment the halftime show was OVER... ugh! Needless to say, I can't get into the game at this point. But, it sure makes me realize just how much life has changed in the length of a football season.

Price(s) of living on this tropical island

Although we were duly warned, we still experienced major sticker shock upon going to the grocery store when we first arrived. In our first couple of visits, we spent $200-300 (note: all prices listed here are in US$; exchange rate ~ US$1=BDS$2) on items that would result in only a few meals for the 2 of us. However, once we bought some basic staples to set up our pantry, and once our household effects arrived (in which we had shipped lots of non-perishables having been warned of high prices here), our grocery spending has come down a tad. And now, for your amusement, here is an odd assortment of items/services and their prices:

• Milk: $9.50/gal (for BOXED milk!)
• Loaf of sliced wheat bread: $2.05
• Bag of 6 bagels: $4.60
• 1/2 dozen eggs: $1.80
• Some juices (local brand): $9.50/gal
• Beer (locally brewed & bottled): $5.25
• 5 lbs of potatoes: $5.50
• Tomatoes: $3.63/lb.
• Apples: $1.04/lb.
  
• Cantaloupe: $7 ea.
  
• Ham (deli sliced): $8.39/lb.
• 8 oz bag of Cheetos: $4.75
• Ice cream to bring home: $23.85/gal!!!!!!!! We have done this math multiple times, and I still can't believe it's correct
• Gas: $5.20/gal (fixed by gov't so same price across the island; full service is the norm)
  
• Drive-in cinema: $15 for 2 tickets + about $11 for cheeseburger with fries, potato roti & large soda
• Men's haircut: $25 (with tip)
• Women's haircut: $40 (with tip)
• Car wash (inside & out, by hand, in parking lot at work - CONVENIENT!): $10!!
  
• Rental car: $283/week (for a glorified golf cart, i.e. Suzuki Celerio)
  

There is a 17.5% VAT (value added tax = sales tax) included in all of the prices above. As diplomats, we get the VAT back; although the process isn't easy or fast, it is certainly worth the trouble. I haven't figured out if they have seasons here for produce since everything is imported. I chuckle at the fact that a lot of produce here is from the U.S. seeing as I rarely ate American produce when I lived there! Eating out is fairly pricey, and sadly (or not, depending on one's perspective), we haven't found too many options that are worth spending the money. Thankfully, I'm pleased to report there is an Indian/Thai restaurant (interesting combination, but they manage to do both well) that is worth the money.

We are getting used to the cost of living here, and are pleasantly surprised when something actually costs less than what we would pay for it in the States. Meanwhile, we try to remember to be thankful that most of what we are used to consuming is at least still available to us, which may not be the case in future posts.

This is not a vacation

It was a frustrating week. We had been having trouble with our home phone line for about a week, and I was working with some people to get it resolved. In a nutshell, our home phone bill was not paid for the previous month and it was on soft-disconnect. Because we are new here and the appropriate transfers weren't done, we never received a bill, and frankly, there has been too much going on for us to think about a bill we never saw. While we didn't have a home phone in the US, we do need one here for multiple reasons (which I won't get into). I did not want to go pay a bill that was not ours. A week later, not only was our home phone hard-disconnected, we also lost our Internet connection (same company handles both). The day this happened was the day all of our belongings were delivered. Needless to say, we already had enough to do with unpacking all this stuff, and now there was one more headache to deal with re: phone/internet. I made a few calls the next day from work, figured out how much the bill was, and surprisingly was willing to pay all of it (even the portion that was not ours) just to solve the darn problem! We never had a service disconnected in the US due to non-payment, and here I was having to deal with it by running over to the company during lunch to pay the bill to get it reinstated. UGH! Thankfully, we got a check for the portion that wasn't ours, and I set a calendar reminder for next month in case we still don't get the bill.

On a separate note, our car STILL isn't here! It was picked up in VA on Oct 28 and was supposed to be on a vessel on Nov 15, to arrive in B'dos on Nov 24. I learned on Nov 26 that due to customs paperwork not being ready on time, it missed that vessel and would be on a ship on Dec 2. You will be amused to read that the car was going to go from NJ on Dec 2 to Puerto Rico then St. Thomas and arrive in B'dos on Dec 16. I found out while dealing with aforementioned phone headache that it missed the vessel to St Thomas and it will now arrive in B'dos on Dec 23. It has to be cleared by customs and such, and with the holidays, it will be January when we finally see it (crossing fingers). Meanwhile, we have been paying US$280 per WEEK for a rental car... another UGH!

Unpacking all the boxes of stuff we just had to have with us here is a mixed bag of 'pain in the neck' and 'Xmas came early.' While we are happy to see all kinds of things (our bed, our TV, the baby's stuff, brownie mix, shoes, etc.), I can say without hesitation that unpacking and coming up with a right place for everything is my least favorite/most dreaded part of Foreign Service life. Next time, I am going to hire some help.

We were lost while driving one day, and I mentioned to M what we had done on our previous trips to Caribbean islands (Aruba - honeymoon, St. Maarten/Martin - 5 year anniversary). To this he responded in a very matter-of-fact way, "this is not a vacation." There are lots of perks to living in beautiful B'dos; however, this is not a vacation.

Life in B'dos

Here are some random observations from our first month on what life is like on this tropical island... The days are pretty equal in length, with the sun rising around 5:45-6a and setting around 5:45-6p. We not only wake up earlier than we used to, we also tend to go to bed earlier. I'm not sure yet if that's due to an infant in the household or the length of our days/nights. Driving is on the left side of the road; there are lots of roundabouts and hardly any traffic lights. People are mostly very polite and stop to let you in if you are waiting on a side road to get on the main road. People also stop, sometimes rather abruptly, to let someone cross the street. It can create an accident if you're not alert. The gas stations all charge the exact same price, which is set by the gov't. They are also all full service. The weather is gorgeous - almost always sunny, with those nice puffy clouds in a blue sky and a slight breeze. It rains on occasion, but less so since the rainy season is now over. The temps range from low 70s to mid 80s. We're told it is much warmer here in the summer, but I doubt it can be any worse than the humid summers of NC to which we're both accustomed.

It seems to take about 20-30 minutes to go anywhere on this island. Like everywhere, commuting on a weekday means leaving your house by a certain time to avoid the rush. Leaving 5 minutes later can mean a delay of 15+ minutes. Roads/streets are not well marked so we do spend our time driving around looking for places and inevitably, taking the scenic route everywhere! It will get better I'm sure. It is safe to stop and ask for directions but M is determined to figure things out himself, so we never do stop to ask! Most shops here are open from 9 to 5 during the week, until 1p on Saturdays, and closed on Sundays! I'm glad grocery stores and bigger retailers are open longer and on Sundays, but it's also nice that Sunday is truly a day of rest. People here are polite in general, and not just on the roads. It is expected that you greet someone with "Good morning/afternoon/evening" when beginning to converse. I'm told the younger generation, like their peers everywhere, are less likely to show such proper manners, but the custom still exists. When you call a business, someone actually answers the phone. This caught me off guard the first time it happened! I called the phone # for the drive-in cinema and was surprised when a lady answered. I fully expected to get a recording with their showtimes, and stumbled in talking to her because I wasn't prepared to talk to anyone. That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure I will write on this subject again as we get more accustomed to being here.

Baby update - 4.5 months old

I decided to post an update about S, partly for my own documenting and partly because he is now so far away from so many who love him. He is a happy, healthy baby who is putting on weight nicely and growing taller. His hair is getting longer and it curls when he gets hot/sweaty outside. People here routinely think he is a girl due to his long hair and the fact that he looks just like his Mommy! Daddy has been impatient to cut it but Mommy is holding him off. S is very squirmy and wiggly and waves his arms a lot. When lying down, he has recently started lifting his legs up in the air. He smiles A LOT and has started laughing some. He holds toys and can amuse himself for short periods of time. His favorite toy right now is a set of colorful links. He wants to put everything in his mouth of course, much to Mommy's chagrin. S turns to his side frequently and has managed to flip over onto his stomach a few times. He has taken up covering his eyes with the back of his arm/hand when he wants to fall asleep and when nursing, almost as if he is saying "oh, the bright light!" He mostly takes short naps during the day, much to Daddy's dismay. He is starting to sleep from around 8 or 9p to around 8 or 9a, albeit he still wakes up 2-3 times during that period to eat. And most importantly of all, he seems to be settling into a routine and is enjoying life in Barbados!

Adjusting to new life

We arrived with our 6 suitcases, et al in Barbados about 2 weeks ago, and are in the process of getting settled. Our home is lovely and we are very pleased with it. The neighborhood has many Embassy families which is great in terms of car pooling since we will only have 1 car (the motorcycle is more M's toy than transportation!). We were given a "welcome kit" full of kitchen items, sheets, towels, and other such necessities to use until our own stuff arrives. It has been interesting to live on limited belongings and start life anew. We decided to rent a car until our own car arrives; Barbados may be small but it's not that small and one must have wheels to get around. You can only rely on (or bug) neighbors so often. Although we were duly warned, it has been quite a shock to go grocery shopping and see the prices. We have easily spent $100-200 on each trip and not managed to get a week's worth of meals, and it's just the 2 of us eating! We are now members of the Costco-equivalent store here because it is slightly cheaper than the regular supermarkets and every little bit helps. Diplomats can also get refunded the 15% VAT charged on everything after filing for reimbursement. I don't know how locals do it since they don't have such an option. Stay tuned for a future post listing specific prices for your amusement/horror!

A major hassle is the lack of Internet at home. We have been told it will take 2-3 weeks and we are waiting impatiently. Having Internet at home is key to feeling like we are still in touch with our family and friends. There is no Skype/Vonage/Facebook/Gmail without it! I have access at work, and M can come to the Embassy too to use the computers, but it's just not the same thing. We also only get 1 local channel while we wait to have our cable hooked up (expected to take 3-4 weeks!). We lived on basic cable for years in the US and for some reason, cannot wait to get all these extra channels here... funny how that is. Then again, if you saw the interesting programming on the 1 local channel, you would sign up for cable too. There is nothing wrong with it per se, it's just an odd combination and dated. For example, in the past week, we could have watched Days of Our Lives from the 90s, Oprah from earlier this year, Reba from who-knows-when, shows whose names I've forgotten because they were cancelled in the US, old music videos (remember En Vogue?), etc. The upside is that we have learned all kinds of interesting things about our new country thanks to good local programming featured on this same channel.

We have only done a little bit of sightseeing because well, we have only had our rental car for a week and I do have to go to work! What we have seen is beautiful and we look forward to checking out all the major and minor points of interest here. We do have 2 years, so no rush!

S is doing very well. He is 4 months old as of yesterday, and the same happy, smiling baby he has always been, perhaps more so. Our UAB (= stuff from the Virginia apartment) arrived in country last week. After clearing customs and all that, it was delivered to our house today. I can't wait to unpack it and have more of our own stuff to use to make life feel a little more settled here.